The Pink Panther Snipes Again

Bad Movie Reviews with a Touch of Snark

And Now for Something Completely Different, or: Making a Book Stash

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Inspired by Hayley’s project (in turn inspired by Miss Vicky Viola‘s blog), I decided to make a book stash from an old volume of poetry I bought years ago at a book sale.  So yes, my 4/20 post is about a place where you can stash (among other things) your weed.

Supplies:

  • A hardcover book that holds no emotional attachment for you (that part is really important)
  • White glue (I used Elmer’s; I think more arts and crafts-y people use Mod Podge or perhaps a glue personally melted down from horses [gross, sorry])
  • A paintbrush (again, that you have no emotional attachment to)
  • Pen/pencil
  • Ruler
  • X-Acto knife
  • Plastic wrap
  • Drill
  • Heavy book and/or telephone book (if you still get one)

The Process:

  1.  Wrap the front cover and first 5 or so pages in plastic wrap to avoid everything sticking together in one big mess.  Do the same with the back cover and last 5ish pages.  You may want to wrap a few extra pages if, like me, you are sometimes overeager with a blade.20160101_173518.jpg
  2.  Hold the book closed and brush glue on all three sides of the pages. Miss Vicky Viola recommends thin, even coats over a thick blobby coat (paraphrasing).20160101_174717.jpg
  3.  Leave to dry for at least half an hour under several heavy books.20160101_182053.jpg
  4. After it has dried, make a box indicating where you will cut.  I measured about an inch from each side, though others have advised closer to 2 inches.20160101_173534.jpg
  5. To ensure even lines, use a drill to make holes in each corner of your box.  Drill only about 3/4 or into the pages to be sure you don’t drill all the way through.

    20160102_165754.jpg

    Unintended advertising for Esther Price chocolates.

  6. Start cutting!  (This takes forfuckingever.)  Use your ruler and X-Acto knife to cut a few pages at a time, carefully lifting out pages as you go.20160102_171333.jpg
  7. Keep going until you’ve cut out 3/4 of the pages (full disclosure:  I went a bit overboard and cut out way more than 3/4).  Or, you know, stop and eat some ice cream.20160420_210829.jpg
  8. After you’re satisfied with your work (or until your hand starts cramping), coat the book with glue again.  Coat the inside pages where you have cut, around those 1 inch (or more) margins, and along the 3 edges of the book.

    photo-1423114723894-9d29d7e4aa58.png

    I don’t have pictures for this stage, so here’s an artsy picture from Unsplash.

  9. To tidy up the top page, glue down one of the front pages you had wrapped in plastic wrap.  Let it dry under heavy books again, then cut a hole in that first page. (I feel like this step didn’t make a whole lot of difference for me, but at this point the X-Acto knife had become almost an appendage and my cutting was probably not as precise as it could have been.)
  10. Let the glue dry completely, and DONE.

Important Notes:

  1. Do this only with books you have absolutely no emotional attachment to. This is harder than it sounds.  I spent nearly 2 years sending journals to their inevitable deaths, and I still felt insanely guilty cutting into this book of American poetry.  Even though it’s been sitting unread on a shelf for 6 years.
  2. You can use your book stash to store valuables, secret documents, or (if you’re me) shit your cat usually bats off end tables (coasters, remotes, laser pointer).20160402_135130.jpg
  3. Also I’m telling you from a completely objective perspective that these are 10,000x cooler when you use old books or books that are deliberately designed to look old. Also a good use of Twilight (I acknowledge that Twilight jokes are about as original as criticizing the presidency of George W. Bush).

I had fun making this, but don’t get used to it on this blog.  I’d rather be making overly critical and borderline inappropriate comments about films that are embarrassingly aware of how terrible they are.

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Author: jilliansheilas

I like books, bad movies, bothering my cats, and Herbert Lom. Sometimes I behave like an information professional.

2 thoughts on “And Now for Something Completely Different, or: Making a Book Stash

  1. ‘Forfuckingever’ absolutely sums up how long it takes to cut out those pages. It looks great though! I would definitely not do this with any book that I’m slightly attached to, however much I think a book stash of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix I just couldn’t do it.
    Yours looks fab, have fun hiding secret things in it! 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: “I Made That!” Monday – Baby Bunting

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