Life Rants

#Goals

I’ve been blogging here for over 4 years now.  And while it’s been so worth it in terms of meeting my blogging partner and internet love of my life, A Voluptuous Mind, I haven’t become a social media influencer, the voice of a generation, or even the kind of blogger who every now and then gets free samples of all-natural snacks to review.

According to a widget on my blog’s side bar, I have 172 followers, a number I don’t understand (but choose not to question).  What I do know is this number in no way accurately reflects the number of people who regularly read this blog, which is approximately 3% of that number (looking at you, whoever is Googling “hillbilly woman murderer from the 1800’s” and “does the cat die in hush”).

I can’t say I’m sad about the lack of a following most of the time, since any large group on the internet seems to be composed of about 30% (or more) trolls and/or Russian bots.  But I do at times aim to write and post more on this blog than I do, and I wonder if that lack of followers holds me back in spite of myself.  One of the first questions people usually ask about my blog is how many readers it has.

Tim Wu has written this wonderful article, “In Praise of Mediocrity,” that asserts the way we talk about hobbies has gotten absolutely out of control.  It’s not enough to dabble in sketching; you must illustrate and animate a 12-minute short film to prove you have a true passion for your hobby.  And it’s out of the question you keep at something even when all evidence suggests you may not have any talent for it whatsoever.

I keep meaning to write more, but I worry what I write will be garbage.  I have been telling myself to do more sketching or actually focus on a fucking practical hobby like knitting or give sailing a go since I’m surrounded by water now.

And admittedly, I’ve had a lot going on lately and am trying to be patient with myself.  But I also want to avoid falling into a routine before I’ve had the opportunity to try different things and absorb new experiences.

Wu writes “to permit yourself to do only that which you are good at is to be trapped in a cage whose bars are not steel but self-judgment.”

There are a lot of chances I haven’t taken because I was too busy feeling like shit about myself or worried that others would see too clearly what a talentless hack I was.  But goddamnit, I want to learn to sail.

Photo by chuttersnap

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “#Goals”

  1. I’ve been lurking on your blog for ages, I love what you write. My daughter loves the shark movie blog entries in particular. I think we all worry about being garbage when perhaps what we should worry about more is having fun. Then I worry about being vacuous. I guess we’re born worriers 🙂 Anyway, I love your blog, it’s not garbage to me. Sailing sounds fun. I would like to learn tai chi. Maybe I should learn tai chi. Just for fun 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement! Other bloggers are my favorite part of WordPress; it’s such a supportive community here. I really appreciate the kind words and I’m glad your daughter enjoys the shark films too! 🦈 We’ll have to track down some more of those to review….it’s been a while since I’ve had a terrible shark movie in my life!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post and I’d be so happy to read more from you. Lucky for me I get you in my DMs as well as on the blog. Learn to sail, babe it gives me pleasure to imagine you doing that. And I wholeheartedly agree about doing things just because we love them, this is me with singing. I suck balls but I’ll still belt out some Babs with the best of them. All power to you, Jill, you’re perfect as you are as far as I’m concerned, and I’m thankful for your friendship every day x

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.