Collaborative Blogging, Film Reviews

Beach Rats, or: Why, Teens

Though Gay July is technically over, we’re keeping the party going for one last film.  Much like the summer itself, this week’s pick is fine while it lasts…but it’s also ok when it ends.

The Film:

Beach Rats

The Premise:

A Brooklyn teen struggling with his sexuality and father’s terminal illness opts for summer distractions over facing reality.

The Ramble:

Frankie’s maybe not having the best summer ever in a sort of you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here way.

By day, he chills with his muscly Brooklyn bros on the beach.  By night, he gets turned on by naked dudes on Chatroulette.  Desperately trying to avoid thinking about his dying father or face his mother’s disapproval, Frankie spends most of his time out and about…a titular beach rat?

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Initially, Frankie seems interested in Simone, a girl he meets while at Coney Island watching fireworks he very symbolically finds dull.  I may be digging a bit too much for symbolism here, but he seems most intrigued by Simone when she’s literally wrapped in a large yellow python.

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Is that a python you’ve got or are you just happy to see me…?

Very much in the closet, Frankie is very hot and cold with Simone.  Wanting to keep up the facade of his macho straight dude act, Frankie tries to hold onto Simone without getting too close.  However, since he’s not at all interested in sex with Simone, this proves rather difficult.

At the same time, Frankie is very much interested in taking his Chatroulette adventures a step further and meeting up with men for sex.  This is done rather sketchily in parks at night, though frequently includes the bonus of getting high.

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When Frankie shares with his friends that he’s been pretending to be gay in order to get high, they predictably take this to a dark place, leaving Frankie morally conflicted.

The Rating:

2/5 Pink Panther Heads

Maybe it’s the muscle relaxers I’m on talking, but I’m falling asleep just thinking about this one.  Not a whole lot happens in terms of plot, character development, or relationship building.  Frankie is ok, but that’s about the strongest response I can convey about him.   His choices are understandable but frustrating to watch as they keep him emotionally distant from his friends, family, and sexual partners.  Though safe from rejection and homophobia, Frankie seems to have an emotionally empty life.

Also, I have come to the personal conclusion that I just don’t want full-frontal male nudity onscreen.  More asses would be fine, but definitely not more dicks.  What can I say–apparently I’m a PG-13 girl living in an R-rated world.

Would Christa meet this one in the dark or immediately block user?  Find out here!

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Collaborative Blogging, Film Reviews

Duck Butter, or: The Longest Day

Summer of Love/Gay July continues!  Though this week’s film definitely throws a huge bucket of water on the sparks of romance, we will continue to celebrate lesbians in the movies.  And lesbians in general, really.

The Film:

Duck Butter

The Premise:

Having met at a club the day before, 2 women embark on an experiment to spend a solid 24 hours together.

The Ramble:

Naima is an aspiring actress who has just landed a coveted gig in a Duplass brothers film (with Kumail Nanjiani in a brief cameo).  Upon her arrival on set, Naima feels immediately out of sync with the other actors and even fails to eat onion rings correctly in the eyes of the directors.  When Naima tells Mark and Jay that this isn’t working, they respond rather condescendingly.

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Later that night, Naima is going on a first date with a girl at some kind of singer-songwriter lesbian club?  (We don’t have these in Ohio.)  When Naima’s date goes off with another girl, Naima becomes fascinated by one of the singers, Sergio.  Sergio is a young woman who may not be the best singer, but she’s certainly the most passionate.  While Naima tries to argue with some older ladies about the bleak world they have left for millennials to inherit, Sergio interrupts with an invitation to dance.

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As the evening winds down, Naima goes back to Sergio’s place and meets the roomies and stray dogs.  After having sex, Naima jokingly suggests they just keep things as they are for the next 24 hours.  Sergio takes her up on this offer only to have Naima “Commitment Issues” McGee back out.

However, after receiving a heads up the next day that she’s being fired from the Duplass brothers film, Naima decides to go along with the plan to spend a solid 24 hours together, sharing absolutely everything.  As in leaving the bathroom door open when one has to take a piss.  Everything.  Oh, and they will have sex once every hour, which just sounds tiring.

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As the night goes on, Naima and Sergio have their ups and downs.  With Sergio’s encouragement, Naima sends a drunken email to the Duplass brothers, essentially telling them to fuck off.  They vent about their mothers, and Sergio rides a bike for the first time.  However, Sergio insults Naima’s fondness for song covers and is furious when she learns Naima changed her mind about the 24-hour experiment because she lost her job.

When Sergio’s mother arrives in town, will it bring Naima and Sergio together or tear them apart?  What about the suggestion of an orgy or the email response of the Duplass brothers?

The Rating:

2/5 Pink Panther Heads

Good lord, Naima is awful and utterly impossible to get attached to as her character remains so distant throughout the film.  Sergio is at least a bit more interesting, but grows tiresome quickly with all of her armchair psychologist advice that seems ripped from the pages of a paperback self-help book.  The characters are meant to be complex and layered, but they come across as completely unlikeable.

Worst of all, the film is just straight up boring.  The 24 hours Naima and Sergio spend together are the most mundane fucking hours of their lives.  Why lounge around and watch each other take a piss when presumably this is what people in long-term relationships have plenty of opportunities for after they’ve been together for a year?  I was hoping our leading ladies would at least bury a body together, but I would’ve settled for a road trip or taking a drive to the mall.

Color me surprised when the results of this rather boring experiment are…well, boring.

Would Christa spend 24 hours with this one or slam the bathroom door in its face immediately?  Find out here!

Collaborative Blogging, Film Reviews

The Firefly, or: No Weddings and a Funeral

It’s summer.  It’s hot.  We’re looking for a film with a bit less intensity than The Witch but with a message of female empowerment…and lesbians.  This month we’re highlighting films about same-sex relationships between women (and possibly men if we feel like it), which I’m informally referring to as the Summer of Love.  Month of Love?  Either way, count on many significant stares, secret meetings at night, and…the use of coffee to express feelings?

The Film:

The Firefly

The Premise:

Two women mourning the same man unexpectedly develop romantic feelings for each other.

The Ramble:

Though she has been quite happily married for 4 years, Lucia has decided to call it quits with husband Adrian.  Why?  Adrian’s recent promotion will take him to New York, while Lucia feels the need to stay in Bogota to support her brother and his fiancée.

Just a few days before, Lucia and her brother Andrés weren’t even on speaking terms–why the sudden change of heart?  A car accident on Andrés’ wedding day puts more than one plan on hold, leaving Lucia devastated.  Instead of attending the funeral for her brother, Lucia hides out in his apartment, discovering another mourner left behind:  Mariana, the fiancée.

The two women bond immediately over their shared grief.  Lucia is full of regrets over the way she treated her brother, calling him a monster during their final conversation.  However, through Mariana, Lucia hears about the last few years of her brother’s life and his happy relationship with Mariana.

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Rather than return home to her husband, Lucia stays with Mariana–that is, until movers come to clear out Andrés’ apartment.  In the empty apartment, the two women light candles (and drink copious amounts of wine) to honor Andrés.  On Lucia’s insistence, she and Mariana visit Andrés’ grave and bring him flowers.

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Though the two women return to their separate lives, they still feel a strong connection.  Somewhat impulsively, the two set out for the town where Lucia and Andrés grew up.  Staying together in a hotel room with one bed leads to a sudden change in their relationship status…but when Lucia regrets their night together, will it snuff out the spark before it’s had a chance to grow?

The Rating:

3.5/5 Pink Panther Heads

My favorite part of this film is the relationship between Mariana and Lucia, which feels authentic and natural.  A scene where they communicate through slurps of a straw is unique and sweet without being sappy.

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Though the relationship feels real, it does take a long time for it to develop onscreen.  However, the biggest problem with the film is its melodramatic start.  Not only do we get a slow-mo car accident involving a shattered family portrait, but a dramatic bride running away from the church in tears.  Probably the first 20 minutes of the film are scenes of Lucia and/or Mariana crying…which I understand, but still gets to be a bit much.

The melodrama is undercut by Lucia having a rather petty reason for cutting herself off from her brother.  The futility of holding onto grudges is important to this film thematically, but it just sort of makes Lucia look like an asshole.

Overall, the chemistry between our two leads makes this one worth it.

Was Christa rooting for this one or waiting for it to die in a slow-mo car crash?  Find out here!