Collaborative Blogging, Film Reviews

Crystal Eyes, or: A Little Bit Alexis

We’ve seen some rather original murderers slash and maim on the Collab (in fictional settings, of course). Ghost sharks, a pair of jeans, mermaids, NOT David Copperfield (even though he feels most likely on that list to actually commit murder IRL). This week’s film brings an entirely new killer to the forefront–one that’s closely related to the classic creepy doll of horror.

The Film:

Crystal Eyes


Ezequiel Endelman & Leandro Montejano

The Premise:

A mannequin killer stalks a fashion shoot, targeting all those involved with commemorating the tragic death of a supermodel.

The Ramble:

Everything is glamour all the time in the world of 1980s high fashion. Except for when it’s not. An edgy fashion show in Buenos Aires where the runway is an alley seems destined to end in disaster.

The star, supermodel Alexis Carpenter, is a diva with a drug problem. Picking a huge fight with makeup artist Barbara, who she accuses of only doing makeup for the dead, Alexis throws hot coffee in the woman’s face before taking to the catwalk. Pouring out champagne onto the ground, Alexis inadvertently starts an electrical fire that consumes her rather quickly.

A blonde model wearing a wedding dress and veil walks in an alley, bright lights behind her backlighting the scene.

One year later, on the anniversary of her death, major fashion magazine editor Lucia L’uccello decides to commemorate Alexis’ life. And by that, of course, she means capitalize on the tragic death for profit. Disturbed by these plans, Alexis’ brothers Matias and Hernan steal Alexis’ dresses from the editor’s offices. However, things don’t go according to plan when a knife-wielding mannequin attacks. That’s enough to throw off any plan, along with plans B, C, D, and E.

A woman wearing a fur-trimmed shawl stands in an office, holding a corded phone to her ear.

Tensions are high without a knife-wielding murderer to consider, as two models vie for the honor of cover model for the commemorative issue of the magazine. There’s no love lost between Alexis and…well, almost anyone. Self-involved and lacking compassion, Alexis had a knack for pushing buttons.

While the mannequin killer murders with surprising efficiency, all involved with the photo shoot obliviously make their preparations. Will anyone make it to the runway without dying in rather lurid detail?

The Rating:

3/5 Pink Panther Heads

I absolutely respect how this one creatively manages a low budget by embracing it. The concept of a mannequin murderer is original, and its mysterious movements are creepy, entertaining, and cheap to film. Our ’80s setting makes for fantastic makeup and costume choices, and retro look and feel to the filming itself is so effective. The over-the-top murders and bad special effects are silly and fun, along with many a dramatic scream.

Unfortunately, I do find the direction of this uneven, with the beginning much more suspenseful and fun than the latter half. A LOT of our murders happen very quickly, before we can even remember most of the names of the victims. In addition to that, there’s not much reason to be overly attached to the characters who do manage to stick around for a while as they’ve got almost no personality. I also find the mannequin’s identity reveal a bit disappointing, honestly.

The film does well when it brings together horror elements and some sharp, dark observations about the fashion industry. When it comes to a coherent, consistent plot…it’s not making the front cover any time soon.

Would my blog wife encourage this one to soar like a crystal eagle or terrify it with the ominous parking garage trick? Read her review to find out!