Collaborative Blogging, Film Reviews

Hurricane Bianca 2, or: I Will Kut-ya

As one hurricane approaches the US, another storms Russia in the form of a small-town science teacher by day, ferocious drag queen by night.  That’s right–since we covered the first film and we’re all about being thorough on the blog collab, we’re tackling the Hurricane Bianca sequel this week.

The Film:

Hurricane Bianca 2: From Russia with Hate

The Premise:

Richard Martinez, AKA Bianca Del Rio, travels to Russia with insults, false eyelashes, and the kind of glitter you still find under your fingernails months later.

The Ramble:

As a quick recap, the original film in the franchise(?) saw Debbie (Rachel Dratch), homophobic teacher determined to rid Texas of Bianca Del Rio, land in prison for an inappropriate relationship with a minor.  Now that she has been released, Debbie is consumed by her revenge fantasies and ready to carry them out.

A woman holding a bag with her possessions speaks to another woman in an office.

Starting out a cringeworthy plot that just gets cringier is Debbie’s, er, brilliant plan to lure Bianca to Russia, where she will surely be locked up for life.  With the newly appointed Minister of Homosexual Propaganda on the case, prospects for any openly LGBTQ+ person aren’t wonderful.

After Bianca receives an invitation to Russia to accept a science prize, she is skeptical but accepts anyway.  Tagging along is her friend Rex, who isn’t always the brightest.  Little do they know Debbie and her daughter Carly are watching their every move.

It’s not long before Bianca and Rex draw the attention of the Russian police, who interrogate the two about all of the women’s clothing and accessories in their possession.  After these items are confiscated, how can Bianca even exist to collect her prize?

When Bianca and Rex find a gay bar, they meet the witty and fierce owner of the bar, Katya.  Before Bianca can get to know Katya as well as she’d like, police raid the bar, arresting Rex and Carly, who has been spying.  Now it looks as though Bianca and Debbie will have to work together to bust their loved ones out of Russian prison.

A man talks to a blonde drag queen at a bar.

Meanwhile, Rex is in no hurry to be free from prison because of a surprise drag show and unexpected bonding with Carly.  Maybe Carly will even see the error of her ways and begin to change her opinion of the LGBTQ community?  (Also there’s a drag queen in prison called Vicki Leaks…perhaps the one joke in the film that actually lands.)

Bianca is nevertheless determined to bust Rex out of prison, and develops an elaborate plan involving her friend Stephen, help from Debbie, and of course impossibly voluminous wigs.  Can they pull off their plan, defeat the homophobes, and make the world a better place?

A drag queen wearing a sparkly turban laughs, a cloudy cityscape behind her.

The Rating:

2/5 Pink Panther Heads

I expected this to be a fun romp like the first film, but it was honestly…kind of a drag to get through.  Bah dum tsssssssssssss.

The jokes were predictable for a trashy comedy, and I was actually somewhat disappointed that, despite the message of LGBTQ rights and empowerment, it seemed to throw so many groups under the bus.  There were jokes about sex workers, STDs, fat shaming, and prison rape.  Call me a feminist killjoy, but I just don’t find that kind of comedy funny.

Another disappointment was the plot–which I acknowledge was really just a vehicle for the film’s message and vicious Bianca insults.  Even so, we kept hearing about the Minister of Homosexual Propaganda and got so little payoff on that storyline.  Dot Jones is completely wasted in this role and given almost nothing to do except stand around in a uniform looking disdainful.

Based on the title, I was also on some level hoping for a From Russia with Love parody but without the mud wrestling.  Keep your expectations low on this one or you might get your heart trampled on by glittery stilettos.

What did the drag queen of my heart think of this one–would she declare it the winner of an imaginary prize or banish it to Siberia?  Find out in her review here!