This week’s film is brought to you by bad decisions to revisit, ahem, “classics,” and by the sudden realization that you had terrible taste as a child/teen/human being.
I just wanted to remember Melissa Joan Hart before the “attack on Christianity” propaganda films. Is that wrong?
The Film:
Drive Me Crazy
Where to Watch:
Netflix (US)
The Premise:
Melissa Joan Hart is a high school overachiever who grooms her vaguely grungy neighbor into her prom date rather than face the horror of attending prom solo.
The Uncondensed Version:
This is a teen rom-com, so obv it’s a given that 2 high school kids from different cliques couldn’t seriously go to prom together…could they??? I think you already know the answer to this question.
MJH is an overachiever, and I can’t remember her character’s name at all because she will never not be Melissa Joan Hart/Sabrina to me. She’s very into the school’s upcoming centennial, ‘90s fashion, and star basketball player Brad.
Though MJH and her neighbor, aka that dude from Entourage, used to be childhood friends, they haven’t spoken since middle school. Entourage dude, who I remember is named Chase (mostly because that is the most ‘90s name) is something of a rebel/slacker/prankster without entirely committing to the grunge scene. I’m not really sure what clique this would be considered, but the film wants us to take away from this that he doesn’t care about school spirit or “normal” high school teen stuff.
One of his schemes involves putting orange dye in the water sprinklers while everyone is at lunch on the lawn, apparently b/c of his contempt for mochaccinos and the music of Celine Dion. Which I mean, yeah, I’m not into either of those things, but IDK if I would ruin anyone’s white clothing over that.
MJH and Chase both seem happy with their respective high school lots…that is, until Brad asks another girl to the centennial dance, and Chase’s rebel girlfriend breaks up with him for not being that into “real” activism.
After getting extremely drunk at a party, MJH decides she and Chase should pretend to be a couple so she’ll have a date for the dance, and Chase can make his ex super jealous. First step = go to the mall and clean up Chase. It’s actually one of the worst ways I can think of to begin a relationship, but I admittedly have a fear of malls bordering on paranoia.
Anyway…unsurprisingly, cliques of all types are resistant to this mixing of high school cultures. MJH and Chase brush off insults pretty easily, and it doesn’t take long before taking the time to understand their differences means the two develop genuine feelings for each other.
You know there will be complications, however, as there are still 45 minutes left.
What will happen when Brad breaks up with his cheerleader girlfriend, Chase’s ex wants him back, and MJH’s bff decides to be a bitch for no reason?
DRAMA. DRA. MA.
The Rating:
It’s really hard to be objective about this one because I LOVE Melissa Joan Hart and she’s so adorable as a 22-year-old teenager (which is probably one of the more reasonable age gaps for a teen movie, TBH).
But I have to confess I lost interest in the plot long before this movie was even halfway over and only powered through because of my commitment to this blog (you’re welcome, readers). This is an example of a film better fondly remembered than disgracefully re-watched because this one was so much worse than I remember.
Additional thoughts, in no particular order:
- That girl who is always the best friend in teen movies is in this and is a total bitch for seemingly no reason except maybe “that’s how girls compete.”
- Every time there’s a misunderstanding…so. Much. Moping. Say what you will about Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare was spot-on re: the teenage impulse to jump to stupid conclusions and do really insane shit as a result.
- So many butterfly clips had to die in the making of this film.
- I thought the “loser” friend characters, Ray and Dave, were quite sweet, though perhaps thinly veiled versions of the filmmakers (esp. re: revenge sequence in video project form).
- Usually I would object to a film not featuring the titular song, but “Drive Me Crazy” is featured for no reason at a random party that has very little relevance to the plot. Everyone knows the time for “Drive Me Crazy” in the ‘90s would be, uh, PROM.
2/5 Pink Panther Heads
This would very possibly be 1/5 without MJH. Do yourself a favor and re-watch Sabrina, Down Under instead if you’re longing for a simpler time in MJH’s career. Or cross your fingers really hard and hope a Sabrina, the Teenage Witch reboot happens.
The Pink Panther Snipes Again 